What do you mean it's made with love? LET'S PLAY: DIGIMON CYBER SLEUTH

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/run file Digidigidigiassholes.4.0.mon

Library found, booting... ... ...

.....

Unexpected error found in Assigned Value 'HackersMemory.exe'. Continue anyway?

/yes

...............



























Hello everybody and welcome to 6 fucking years later before PissyZealotedTyrant was a fucking flaming homo donut and made sure MUGEN Royale died before I ever completed just one goddamn LP in my entire fucking life. So we here, and the Switch has a screenshot function, I want to see how far this shit can go before I get bored. With that nonsense out of the way, let's begin. Oh wait, they do questions with these don't they.

What is this stupid anime furry shit and how are you playing it in your fucking wigwam?: Digimon Cyber Sleuth was a game originally on the PS VitaSigns Negative and the PSPersona 5 Machine released on February 2nd in America and some other nation no one gives an absolute fuck about. It received middling reviews where were high 70s, in this day that means it might be a very scary dead game that IGN ignored in favor of Imagine Party Babiez and sucking corporate cock. It was a pretty alright game. I played the original for about 16 hours before this nonsense about 'Hacking Skills' came into play too hard and I got bored of MetalGreymon opening his tits up to blow shit up not fast enough. I play it via indian burial ground.

You fuck, is there going to be any audience participation?: Look, you can name Digimon for me to use but I have this shit planned out already and taking screenshots I've realized will end up with me devolving this thread into posting WarGreymon's tits opening for 12 pages and skipping the story. I'll only be taking screenshots I find necessary, and it's thankfully lucky I have the Switch as an actually functional screenshot machine.

Can I name your Digimon sex slave funni names?: Sure why not

What's your favorite Digimon?: MirageGaogamon, Commandramon, and Antylamon Deva.

With that out of the way, this shit starts next post.

WELCOME TO CYBERSEDUCTION

Look, I'm actually doing the thing I said I would like I have actual responsibility now.

...Oh, I made a mistake. How many screenshots is that... At least Pokemon won't be this actually dialogue heavy. And if it is, at least 90% of it will mean jackshit. This is a game where they actually gave a fuck, so expect all of this dialogue I'm about to post be in the actual game somehow.





"HELLO YOUNG TRAINER, WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF A BETTER FRANCHISE"



So this girl breaks the fourth wall. I kind of like her, she's pretty much just a program...hybrid person. She ain't aging is what I'm saying.



So let's get started on this and cheat our way to complete and utter victory. There's minor connecting backstory here, in that you have two roles in the same storyline. Hacker's Mammories which involves an actual hacker doing hacker things, and then there's dopey dipshit and Mrs. Real Tits I Swear. We're going to be playing as preestablished character Dopey.





See? I never even knew that bit, that's swag as fuck.



HERE WE GOOOOOO




























BIG FAMILY FUN



Wow, this chat app is pretty fucking cluttered, I'm overwhelmed.



NO



Wow, really? Eat shit Pokemon, can you do that?



Digi...Mon... Like...Digital Monsters... It all makes sense now, I bought a Fighting Foodons game by accident.

Then Bob the Dalek comes out and decides to say 'hello, please join totalitarian state gib money plox'



SCAWY. Eden is uh. WEll, we'll see in a few pictures. For now, who will boldly go to this new location after everything?



IT'S US!!

We now get to choose our name and gender. Because we are always fat, sweaty manchildren, we pick the Moot option.



Perfect.







TOTALITARIAN STATE TOTALITARIAN STATE TOTALITARIAN STATE



WE ARRIVE AS OUR PINK, PRETTY PRINCESS....



And it's time to get started!!

So this is EDEN. This is where we will be 95% of the game because everywhere else is literally just Tokyo but somehow it's more lifeless. Regardless, this is still a pretty fucking fun game, it's hard to make Japan seem lively even with enough neon to kill an actual Japanese child. Let's see how much livelier the Digital World is!



Stunning! We go up top to that building to find something that Sean likely cares about more than I fucking do.



It's this, and I dunno, I think you get good stuff for them.





Squadala, we're off!

So we have to go look for Kowloon, the most dangerous place on the internet ever because it is bad and mean and ugly.





Fucking Chinese.

Either way, he points us to the creepy fucker you saw way above in the start of coming here.





The way. Is now open. To us. We are anon. We don't remember and we do apologize.



YEAH NOW WE CAN GO GET RAPED



Get used to this area. This is like 70% of the game.

Through magic and flying we arrive to our friends who have been waiting for us since the start of the game, Blue Bitch and someone or other.



YOU'RE LATE FOR OUR VERY IMPORTANT DATE, ALICE



Boy, if this isn't screaming alarm bells, just let natural selection do its thing. A sneaky man comes up behind GRRL POWER and introduces himself!





This is Arata Sanada. He has the unique ability to never dress like a normal person. He's going to be your other half for this game, while Akkino proceeds to be the girl of the group and star in some hot Digiality action or other. Arata is actually helpful, Akkino will make you pretend to like her when she's unable to stop being such a baby about actually doing anything.



That Hacker program is back...and he gives us something that will forever change our lives.





'Hackers are as common as embarrassments on Twitter, don't worry about it.'



SUDDENLY, ANOTHER SNEAKMAN

He runs off, and we try to leave. However, there is now a caveat.



WE'RE LOCKED IN GAZPACHO

We have to find a way out of here... But how?

Now's a good time to Save the game. In case you like things to not be exposition.





We'll get to this menu next update. We decide to chase after the boy which is taking one step forward.







He puts a tramp stamp in our data and basically comes to say hello after putting his hand on our face.





Oh is that all I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being in a porno







Like real life, there are good boys and bad boys. Beneficial hackers log into shit like security firms and keep people from being destroyed. Bad hackers are the Chinese.



But it's OK, we don't have to decide what we want to be right now! He's the Professor of this game!



What are we going to PICTerriermon. It's Terriermon. I have my favorite Digimon that way and I can get literally any of the other Digimon just by shitting around in some of the areas for 12 minutes. It's not like Pokemon where these are not common and you only get one. No. That would be retarded. Instead, you get ANY of the Digimon in this game with enough effort on your part.



And that power will be used to make the ultimate catfish scam.

BUT JUST THEN



A TROLL APPEARS

It chases off the Digimon, and we must go after them. Well. Casper here says you don't need to worry, they're just programs. We promptlysay fuck that noise, we run to save thesmall bunny.



WE WILL NOT YIELD TO YOUR CONSUMMATION OF TERRIBLE PRODUCT! We step in, and ghost boy chides us for having a soft touch and just running in without a plan. But we're in luck.



He is both of those things as well, a good heart and a caring man. He promptly summons his Digimon.



You can see where this is going.



Yep.



But Terriermon takes him down for the final blow!



From actually BEFRIENDING a Digimon, who are computer programs with true A.I., we are an aberrant in the system that EDEN has created to be beneficial hackers and not just destabilize the economy and life as we know it. Amy Rose is too sweet for that.



He finally gives us his name and finally leaves...



Next update, battle tutorials, menu, and finding out where Bluebell went.

See you next time on DigiballZ!!

How's it going everyone. Chief Big Dick Energy here. It's been a long time, so in the midst of the Kung Flu, I will now restart and finish this LP as a I am a son of a great tribesman; Chief Fucks Up Our House. Let's get started.

HOW TO PLAY THIS GODDAMN SHIT

So this game is an RPG, and as such, I have to explain what everything does. Get ready kids, this is going to be wordy as RPGs often are.

DIGIMON TYPINGS AND ELEMENTAL TRAITS



So this is our lovable little furry child thing. What does any of this horseshit mean? I'll list each attribute down below.

TYPE: There are three types in the game. Data, Vaccine, and Virus. These go in a rock-paper-scissors line, and it's even easier than how Pokemon does it. Data > Vaccine > Virus > Data > Vaccine > Virus. Got it? Good. Typing actually does matter significantly as even with a right 'move' on the 'wrong' opponent will deal negligible damage because the typing is very much interconnected to how you actually hurt people for illegal money. Remember the order and good will come.

ATTRIBUTE: Your Digimon's element. Terriermon is Wind. Therefore he is Wind attribute. The Attributes in this game are Fire, Wood, then Water for a first 'set'. They too operate on a RPS baseline. There's more! Lightning bests Wind, Wind bests Earth, then Earth bests Lightning making a second. Yes, we'll have to be wary of that one for Terriermon. Light and Dark both hit each other for Super Effective damage and counter each other, and there's typeless moves and stuff. Now, this isn't as important as you think, Fire is still going to hit a Water fucker for neutral damage. The typing is king, remember that.

DIGIRANK: This is your Digimon's 'rank', which can be one of eight fucking things. Babby, In-Training, Rookie, Champion, Ultimate, Mega, Ultra, Armor, and it makes even less sense in Japanese. Basically it's just to denote how strong this piece of shit will get so you can de-evolve as you need, and it's handy to remember you'll only see the main 7 for a while. Armor is a special brand of gimmick which is just unique to the protag mons of the anime.

MEMORY USE: Your party of sexbait and 12 year old drawn super cool awesome dudes all cost certain amounts of memory. You can expand this memory with MemoryUps, not unlike a certain other series dealing in this internet shit. The higher rank a Digimon is, the more memory they cost, and they can cost a fucking shitload. It's genuinely a good idea to treat your Digimon like they're supposed to spit in a Christian's face by evolving and de-evolving them at will for better stats and ability selection. Speaking of!


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STATS
HP: Press X to not die, a standard staple. If this reaches zero, the Digimon does its best Disco impression and dies. You don't want that, obviously.
SP: Your magic casting mana pool of crazy skills and death. This needs to be high as fuck in order for your Digimon to deal any damage, so you need to feed the Baja Blast chips to regenerate it and make your opponents feel the refreshing power of actual teeth rot.
ATK: How hard your Digimon will punch someone in the face. Certain skills are physical or magical, so watch out asshole.
DEF: How well the enemy knows it's OK to shove their penis into your Digidigidigiasshole and have you make them dinner. This needs to be high to withstand the precious attacks or wait for the end to come.
INT: How much your Digimon posts on Reddit. If you want your Digimon's magic skills to go up, immediately raise this shit up. It makes it hit harder.
SPD: How much of a hedgehog is your Digimon? Your speed is higher the more the number is.
ABI: Ah, now what the fuck is this? It's a stat that explicitly raises the more you evolve or de-volve. So this shit is required for certain evolution paths. THe higher it is, the better off you are. This is because it also lets you train your Digimon in certain stats at a training course we'll get to later, like EVs from Pokemon only it's far easier, isn't made by someone stuck in 1996, and has more weight to actually using it to explore Digimon's digipaths.
CAM: This is how much of a camwhore your Digimon is and shows feet pics. The higher this is by raising it in battle after battle, the much likelier they are to combine skills and powers with another Digimon who also has it raised. Needless to say, you want this up real high.
Personality: Much like Natures in Pokemon, this raises your Digimon's stats by a bit. Here's the fun part. This isn't even as important as Pokemon's is, so if your ass wants to roleplay, you can literally use a Patch item to change your Digimon's personality typing. There are two non-combat traits, Builder and Searcher. Fuck the latter, stick strictly to the former for when we get there. Gotcha? Yes. Good.
EXP: How much killing you need to do before the next level. Simple.
Equipment: You can put stuff on your Digimon like Chips or Attachments. This can be very good if you know what items do what, and we'll get to that.~




Skills. What are skills?
There's three types of skills. Special Moves which can only be done by the Digimon as their unique. Inherited Skills which can be stacked to ludicrously fun heights by constantly evolving and de-evolving to get more and more moves. And Support Skills which are unique to the Digimon and apply to them or your whole party. Right now Terriermon's support skill is BUllseye, which increases accuracy by 15%.

You can have up to 20 skills on a single fucking Digimon, and if you try hard enough, you can turn a Digimon into a multi-element user by switching its evo paths massively and filling out its list. This is important, do not waste it.

Alright, that does it for how the general Digimon stats work. Now let's kill ourselves by explaining the menu briefly.



Digimon: This is where we look at our furry masturbators. We'll be visiting this screen a lot. You have 3 active battle Digimon and 8 reserves. Filling out your cadre is important as fuck for story progression. Keep it handy.

Items: Where your shit goes. You visit it to use items, equip things, and check statuses on how much you've collected. Moving on.

Player: Oh jesus, this is lengthy.


Let's start from the top.
Amy is our name. This is what people call us besides 'Sally Acorn is better'.
We have exactly 17 dollars in our pocket via our 2136 Yen, which isn't even enough to buy a copy of Sonic Dreams Collection.
Sleuth Rank is how good we are at helping people by doing sidequests. These will be abridged and may not even be finished entirely. DEpends on how I feel.
Saved Digimon: I THINK this is how many Digimon you have registered.
Solved Cases: How many bear asses did you collect? This lets you know.
Play Time: Please don't tell anyone how I live.

Hacking Skill: Having certain amount of Digimon unlocks these kinds of things along with story progression, I loathe this system, but we'll get to it. All you need to know is that there's a list of these and posting them is easier.

Skill Name Description Requirement
Wall Crack Lv.1 ウォールクラックLv.1 Break down Lv.1 firewalls. One Digimon present in party.
Wall Crack Lv.2 ウォールクラックLv.2 Break down Lv.2 firewalls. Four Rookie (Child 成長期) or above Digimon present in party.
Wall Crack Lv.3 ウォールクラックLv.3 Break down Lv.3 firewalls. Four Champion (Adult 成熟期) or above Digimon present in party.
Wall Crack Lv.4 ウォールクラックLv.4 Break down Lv.4 firewalls. Four Ultimate (Perfect 完全体) or above Digimon present in party.
Code Scan コードスキャン Decrypt encrypted files. A Data type Digimon present in party.
Copy and Paste コピーアンドペースト Copy and paste data to solve puzzles. A Vaccine type Digimon present in party.
Stealth Hide ステルスハイド Become invisible to sneak past guards. A Virus type Digimon present in party.
High Security Lv.1 ハードセキュリティLv.1 Slightly decrease random encounters. One Ultimate (Perfect 完全体) or above Digimon present in party.
High Security Lv.2 ハードセキュリティLv.2 Greatly decrease random encounters. One Mega (Ultimate 究極体) or above Digimon present in party.
High Security Lv.3 ハードセキュリティLv.3 Prevent random encounters. Five Mega (Ultimate 究極体) or above Digimon present in party.
Function Call Lv.1 ファンクションコールLv.1 Increase random encounters. A Free type Digimon present in party.
Function Call Lv.2 ファンクションコールLv.2 Instantly trigger a random encounter. A Free type and Rookie (Child 成長期) or above Digimon present in party.

Got it? Good, let's continue.

KEYWORD: Your list of buzzwords used to derail a perfectly normal argument. This is unimportant if you keep track of the plot. Keywords rarely get used anywhere.

OPTIONS: Tweak your various settings. Nothing much to say.

DIGIMON FIELD GUIDE: This is your Pokedex. You are able to learn what moves they have, how they evolve and de-evolve, and what their ASL is. It's very important, probably evenmoreso when trying to get something specific.

DIGILINE: Sexts and unsolicited dick pictures. This is just where you answer plot texts that don't have any bearing and where your Digimon occasionally TALK to you. I know, they can all speak English! And we'll be melting them down for scrap.

SAVE: ME
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WHEN WE LAST LEFT OFF, WE HAD JUST GAINED OUR NEW FRIEND! We move on to go look at where Bluebell went.



GASP! There he is, blocked by a children's creepypasta!



Wait no, it's just some hacker fucker. He tells us to come back later after we successfully are at the level of Indian Tech Support. IN the midst of all this riveting explanation, I forgot we have some kind of friend back the way we came. Let's go get Nokia.





Oh what's a useless side character to do? BUT JUST THEN









Oh no... MASCOTS. We have to run. NOW.



THEY'RE ATTACKING! QUICKLY, AMY!

It's lucky Amy is aroused by the sound of murder and potential friend's death.



NO, WE'RE TOO LATE

Nokia gets introduced to AmandaHugnkiss and SlobWithAKnob.







Nokia is also a filthy racist.









God, I hate you.

The two fursuits decided they don't like a crazy hedgehog who got lost from her game series and ran away.









He's literally right there, you fucking racist.

Nokia joins us to go look for Arata, the most inconspicuous man on earth.

We finally, thankfully get into a goddamn battle because I was going mad just playing this for the FRIENDZ



So this is the Digimon Scan feature, where the more you kill, the more you can summon from the Digilab. If you fight bosses, you can end up summoning the actual Digimon for yourself the more you do. What's the Digilab? We'll get to that. We're not even done with the fucking Prologue yet.



HEWWO



wait a minute, who's that, what the fuck



STREET STYLEZ

We continue along our merry way until Nokia says something so fucking random I got to pause.



what



what





Is this REALLY hacking or it something we've forgotententententen



nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn



nnnnnnnSILENT STORM, there the fucker is, christ.



Asshole's spacing out.



We decide to finally arrive and talk it out like adults.

Nokia: "CUMSOCK, WHY'D YOU JUST RUN OFF LIKE THAT"
Arata: "GUys, I'm SUPER weirded out right now."
???: "oh yes. oh yes. this is perfect. hold it right there, a hedgehog."









Oh fuck.



That thing isn't black, it's a very colorful silver and black, you blind piece of shit.



It steals men souls, and makes them its slaves! Mankind ill needs such as a savior as that, so we have to run before we become ruined by Konami!



"I AM MANIPULATING THE DATA SO YOU CAN RUN AWAY"



"Oh no, my insecurities and overtly poppin' pheromones got me into this mess! Amy, help!"

And Amy, like the cocker spaniel she is, goes to help.





So this is an Eater. We can't kill this thing right now. We all deal no damage and Agumon even crit it. It's over.



Oh no!



OH NO



With my last breath, I curse...Nokia...to go out of business....


















"The logout cannot continue. The logout cannot continue. The logout cannot continue."
















"The logout will continue."




.....my crotch hurts.



Isn't WHAT dangerOH MY GOD!! MY BODY IS PLAYING THE FUCKING COSBY SHOW, HELP

Some crazy drunk tries to arrest us.



Or she's a policewoman. I guess. I doubt that. But wait, ARRESTED? No, my bootyhole can't take that sorta thing!



wait what







did I just get amber alerted



uh. uhm.



WHAT HAPPENED TO MY VAGINA



AW FUCK

I'M A STREAMING SERVICE









TITS.

What the fuck has happened? WHY the fuck has happened? Will we be doomed to play Fat Albert on repeat and accidentally use the word 'retarded' in public? FIND OUT NEXT TIME, ON DIGIBALL Z!